Many of my years have been spent learning to bring all the tangled strands of my past to my Good Father God. One by one, surrendering each wound to His care, letting Him painfully apply salve to all the brokenness.
2015 and 2016 were focused on letting go – like a kid letting go of a pool wall. To trust that I am held by The One who knows me, loves me fully, and keeps me. To trust Him with all of my relationships.
That was the hardest. To walk in faith in relationships. To not take responsibility that wasn’t mine to take on. To not care what others thought of me. Choosing to not always be the one to reach out in some uncertain relationships. To let relationships drift if they needed to – knowing that God knows. To grieve losses. To love deeply. To take risks and meet new people.
Late in 2016, something shifted. God has been teaching me how to hear Him on a whole new level, and He’s guided me to do things that I have thought were odd at the time, yet the choice to obey has consistently been rewarded with moments of “Wow, God! You are awesome!”
There is a time to plan and plan well. There is also a time to STOP thinking about it and jump in. Just like a good swimming instructor, God will always catch me.
Father God, thank You for being a trustworthy and capable teacher through this one shot of life. Life. It sure does feel complicated, messy, full of heartache and despair. BUT. You are with me through all the pain and loneliness. You give me all I need to make it through, and You are teaching me how to be more than a survivor.
You’ve called us to be a chosen race, a royal priesthood, ambassadors who tell others our stories and The Good News – that Jesus paid the cost so we could have relationship with You, our Father and God.
Give me courage to fight every moment. To walk in the victory Jesus already gave me. To take risks and be even more transparent so that others will have courage to live out their journey. In Jesus’ name and for Your glory.